Trendy Remorse... and a creepy old guy.

You know the days when there's the potential of having a little spunk in your step? I was having one of those today. I was tired, I felt blah, but yet the mood was swirling inside of me - the I'm a fun, cute person mood. It doesn't matter if you are either of these things in reality, but the mood matters - so you give it a little push in the right direction. Me? I hopped into the bathtub and shaved my legs - always the first thing you have to do in order to be even remotely cute. "Hairy Cave Woman" is just not cute this season.
A short time later I emerged much less Neanderthal-ish than I had started. The next step is the perfect outfit. As I looked through my closet I realized that I do actually have a lot of cute things, and not one damn thing matches anything else! The cute skirts have no tops, the cute tops have no bottoms and don't look right with jeans - and the tops that do look cute with jeans are all sleeveless and there are no sweaters that match any of them! As I rummaged through my wardrobe I came across an old mid-thigh length button-up cap sleeved dress. Yes, it's basically a warm weather smock, but the colors are dark so I'll make it work. I found a little black cropped sweater with short sleeves and stuck them together. My black boots no longer fit since I had kids (yes, my feet actually grew one full size and never went back! Now I have this super expensive pair of black high-heeled boots that I refuse to give up because they cost so much - and I NEVER buy myself expensive things, but the boots were a rare special treat... figures), so I ended up with a cute little pair of mary-jane like flats - no tights or panty hose. I was going for a "young" cute. My latest issue of Glamour (thanks Jen!) says the no-fuss bun/ ponytail is the hottest hair style right now- and who am I to argue with that!? Up it goes.
The kids weren't really allowing me to do much more with this look, so it all sort of ended there - no makeup and no cute accessories. I should have known then - the look just wasn't complete. I felt half-dressed. It's either all or nothing and I was half! Oh, well. It's too late now. We needed to get going. Coen was looking a little homley with the shaggy hair so we were going to get it cut before I dragged the little ones to work with me (Jason had a late meeting today...).
We get to Great Clips - it's not my first choice because they never cut my son's hair right, but I keep thinking "this time it will be different" - it's there that my trendy remorse sets in.
As I was getting the kids out of the car, my dress blows up over my head and my bum is exposed to all of the employees at the local East of Chicago Pizza - well, at least it was a cute day so I happened to be wearing cute little underwears too.... well, you'll have that. We get inside and I sit down. Immediately I notice the big dirty marks on my knees. Great! I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing when I got the kids out of the van and I knealt of the kickboard. Now I just look like a common hooker with my dirty knees! The diaper bag is in the car so I have no baby wipes to fix it so I rub and rub and rub trying to lighten the big black circles. Now they just look like bruises - is that better? I'm not sure. Plus my dress is too short - well it's not too short, but I'm very uncomfortable with my huge thighs exposed. Next to me is an older man ("the creepy old guy") and his son - maybe grandson - waiting to get thier hair cut too. The woman at Great Clips asks me for my phone number so she can find us in her computer. My 4-year old son - who is currently learning his phone number - chimes in to provide her with the needed info - and he actually got it right! I praised him - as did creepy old guy. Then the guy asks my son what his address is. Yeah. I cut him off before he could answer and told him to go sit down and wait for our turn. Was he being a nice old man or was he just being totally creepy - perhaps both. As we continued to wait the dude asks my son if he still remembers his phone number - and he spits it right out. I'll let it slide - but I'm watching you dude. Then he proceeds to ask him what his last name is? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY??? I think he's just being friendly and the kid with him is about 15 or 16 and seems to be nice, but seriously. Luckily Coen was being kind of bad at the moment so I was quick to yell at him - maybe a little more than I needed to, but it still kept him from providing pedophile guy with all of our personal info. The whole time, I feel like a slutty mom because of my creeping hemline and hooker black knees. Damn dress. On top of dealing with Trendy Remorse I have to put up with the creepy guy hammering my kid for his social security number. Finally the stylist calls Coen's name and we're rescued form old creepy guy, but not the bowl cut the woman put on my kid! Oh well, TGIF! (and in three weeks my kid's bad bowl cut will be gone).