Take a deep breath and count to 10

My mom says this to me at least 3 times a day. It drives me batty! Of course most everything my mom does and says drives me batty, so it begs one to ask why I talk to her so many times a day. Because she's my mom and I love her. We keep each other company. Someday I hope my kids will talk to me three times a day just to talk, and share a goofy thing that happened to them. I hope that I won't drive them batty, but let's be honest here. I'm their mother, and as much as it kills me, I'm my mother. Hopefully my kids will be understanding. Besides when I start driving them batty all they need to do is "take a deep breath and count to 10."

The wrong road

Did you ever let someone take your hand and lead you somewhere you knew wasn't the right direction? You look back and see the way you should be going, yet your feet don't fight this new direction, and you keep your mouth shut. You just go along with what is happening. Perhaps it's because you trust this person, maybe you're just curious, or too afraid to object. Whatever the reason, here you are watching the path you should be heading down slowly disappear behind the trees.

I find myself on this strange path. I can feel myself being led, but I do not cry out. I do not run away. I can see the path I want to be on there in the distance. I've been led far, but not so far that I couldn't make my way back, yet I keep walking. My child-sized hand outstretched to this blurry figure laying out my path ahead. The farther I get the heavier my chest feels. Why don't I just break away? This is not a good place I'm going. I don't know why, but I can feel it.

As we move along the dark tree-lined path, I can see glimpses of where I should be. Through the trees I can see the sun hit the dirt of the direction I was yanked from, and my heart sinks. I think to myself, "We're not that lost. We can still get to the other path!" Why can't I stop? Who is this person leading me? Her smile is warm and her eyes are full of love as she glances back at me to check that I am ok. I recognize the smile, and the eyes as my father's and my heart almost stops. Who is she, this tender woman leading me astray? Surely she means me no harm. I just keep wondering why I can't run away, and I realize, you can't run away from yourself.