When I turned 30 it was weird. It wasn't scary, but it was strange. I thought - where did 30 years go? I was completely comfortable with it though. At 30 I was where I wanted to be - wonderful husband: check - Two healthy children and another in the oven at the time: check - A career I love: check - A home of our own: check. I had all the necessities of a true adult complete with a ridiculous car payment. Happy is the best description of it. I've always felt beyond my years, and now I was really an adult. You still feel like a kid in your twenties, but at 30, you feel like the rest of the world has to value what you have to say because you're part of the grown-up club now. Silly, I know, but that's what I thought. It doesn't matter that people already valued what I had to say even before the 30-year mark- don't ask me why, it's just what my brain was telling me. It has been a great year. Sure there have been a lot of monkey wrenches thrown in my direction, but the overall picture is still a good one.
In 17 days I will be 31. There's something even weirder than turning 30 going on in my mind. It's a whole new kind of weird. I'm crossing over the 30 mark. Yes, I'm still young, I realize this. But there is this feeling settling in that I'm not going to be young much longer - 31 years has flown by already! It's not just the number though. My shiny white hairs are starting to out-number my pretty brunette hairs. No matter how I brush my hair - what angle I look at it from - the little white strands are there peeking at me. I've had to change my face cream to a more "mature" formula. I've started doubting the clothes in my wardrobe. Is it cute or will I look ridiculously childish wearing it? I'm not old, and have several years before I can even consider being old... but I am getting older. There's a difference. It's a difference I never really thought of though. I guess I never imagined I would wake up one day and be old, but I also never took into consideration the process of getting older.
I had always said I would grow old gracefully, but looking at 31 years young (in 17 days), I've decided to fight it off a little. I had always colored my hair for years, but when I got pregnant with our first child I stopped and never went back. My husband loved my natural color, and truthfully, I did too. It was brown, but there were lots of highlights in it. It's healthier too. The last few months have had me wondering if I should have it colored again to hide all the white hair. At the gym I find myself staring at the young girls - longing to look like that again, and knowing I never will. In my dreams I get stopped on the street by one of those make-over shows and they whisk me away to be made beautiful again.
I know what is in style, but a lot of what's in style isn't practical, or appropriate, for the mother of three to be darting around town in. People are like, just because you have kids doesn't mean you can't be sexy. Well, yes it kind of does to some degree. I can't wear heels while chasing my two year old and lugging a car seat with an infant inside of it without a.) breaking my ankle or b.) dropping the infant. Scarf and necklaces are a no-no unless you want to find me strangled to death by one of my children - dangling earrings are pretty much out for a while too. My shirt can be ripped off of my body at any given point by a temper tantrum, or just a baby being a baby, so I must choose with caution. Jeans - don't get me started! They're either cut so low that when I bend down to pick up the pacifier that my 7 month old throws on the ground (her new game!) my son yells, "Mom I can see your butt! Hahahahahhahaha" in the middle of whatever public place we happen to be at, or else they're so high up my waist that I look all lumpy and bumpy under my shirt. They shouldn't come past the belly button, really, there's no reason for that high waisted nonsense. I need some fairy godmother to show up with an unlimited Visa and and a great sense of 31-year old mother of three Hot Mom style and take me shopping. I already have my prince charming, and my prince and princesses, my castle and my carriage. I just need some lessons on how to be, well 31, without being too old or too young. It's not as easy as I thought it would be. I'm fine with my age. I just want to look like the youngest possible version of it. Come on Fairy Godmother, Bippity-Boppity- Boo me into a hot mom!
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