If you had asked us just a few days ago, we would have told you that Jason's dad is moving in the right direction. He had been in ICU for three weeks and we were finally getting some answers and progress. He has been sick for about a year and a half, and has been in an assisted living home for almost six months. It was just temporary until he got his strength back. Jason and his stepmom had gone out last weekend and found a better home for him and spoke with the therapists to make sure they showed him some tough love. A year from now we would looking back on this whole episode and said, "Wow, can you believe how far you've come? Here you are swinging a golf club again!"
While on the air Thursday night I got a tearful call from Jason's stepmom, Mary Ann, around 9:30. She went to visit Scott and he told her that he had Mulitple Myeloma. It's a type of blood cancer. He also told her that the doctors couldn't treat him. He would never survive chemo, and even that is only a long shot. So, inbetween songs I had to call my husband to tell him that his dad was dying. It was probably one of the shittiest calls I had to make. This, just three weeks after losing his mom to MS. That we knew would come, but not this.
Friday afternoon Jason and Mary Ann went to the hospital to meet with the doctors to get some answers they didn't have the heart to ask Scott. Prognisis: "a couple of weeks, maybe a month. But if I came back on Monday and had found he passed away over the weekend I wouldn't be suprised." ... sonofabitch.
The kids and I hadn't seen him in almost a month since he had been in ICU. They moved him to pallative care on Friday afternoon and we were up there the first chance we got. Everyone was. I spent an hour with him before I had to head in to work, and Jason and the kids stayed about 4. He was so happy! He had missed his grandbabies so much. The kids had painted him pictures on Tuesday for his birthday and they've been waiting to give them to him. Coen has been waiting for him to get out of the hospital to have a birthday party for Grandpa. That's all he's been talking about. A few friends stopped by, and after everyone left it was just him and Mary Ann. She said he talked her ear off for an hour. She hardly said a word. It was such a gift from God.
When your phone rings at 3:47 am it's never a good thing. We got dressed and rushed to the hospital. By the time we got there at 4:10 he was gone. We missed him by 10 minutes.
Here we are again. Going through the motions like robots this time. We can't stop crying, but we feel so numb at the same time. really, WTF?
Everyday I check the mail and put all the sympathy cards from Jason's mom in a basket. We now have it separated so her cards go in one spot and Scott's another. I still have thankyou notes to finish up from Pam's death, and next week I will start writing them for Scott's. We feel like such a burden to all of our friends and family. People rallied so much around us when Pam died, and here they are again.
I swear, if I have to rummage through the box of pictures I have for Jason and his family, I'll shoot someone. I love looking at them, but I'm collaged and slide showed out. And all I can say to myself is, "this sucks."
goddamn, sonafabitch, this sucks... that's all ther is right now.
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