Bathing Beauty and the Busted Head

OK - so it's been a while since I've blogged. Sorry. I have no good excuse except that I've been DOG tired and the ol noodle hasn't been workin right. It happens from time to time.

So, the hubby and I are getting ready to head off to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico in a couple of weeks. Of course, I need a new bathing suit. I have a sporty Nike suit I wear to swimming lessons with the kids at the Y, but I want a pretty bathing suit to wear at the exotic beach while on vacation with my husband and NO KIDS! You get it - I think my husband finally gets it too. When I first mentioned that I would like some money to buy a bathing suit he said, "Yeah, we should have an extra $20 or $30 bucks on the next pay." He couldn't understand why I was laughing. I could buy a top, or a bottom. Which one am I more insecure about.... Or I could buy a whole bathing suit that has no lining, or boob support. No boob support is great for us busty girls. Just smash them in there all droopy and unibooby like - it makes us feel so sexy! MEOW! I suggested he come with me. We looked at Target, and failed miserably. The bathing suits were all so slinky - even the one piece suits were missing most of the material! Remember in the 80's when the bathing suits had the sides and the belly cut out? Apparently that's back. If you're 19 and hot - go buy your bathing suit at Target. If you're old, droopy and stretched out in every direction - seek elsewhere - you'll only leave feeling like a whale.

Our next stop was Kohl's. First of all, I HATE bathing suit shopping. Most women do. I decided that if there wasn't anything at Kohl's I was going to abort the mission and look like Sporty Spice gone bad come vacation time. I tried on a few suits. There's a really cute style this year with a little skirt on the bottom. It's not one of those blousy skirts that float up as soon as you get into the water though. It's kind of tight and would stay put. It would also hide the fat thighs! I tried a couple of those on. They made me look even fatter than the regular bottoms! Are you kidding me? The cute little hide your giant thighs skirt only works on skinny people? What the hell is the point of this thing? If I could get my butt down to 125 pounds I wouldn't need the stupid little skirt! GGGRRRR! I finally found two pieces that matched and looked somewhat decent on me. I think I needed to go up one size on the bottoms though. Of course, they didn't have one size up & none of the other bottoms were the same shade of brown - even from the same company! I hate bathing suit shopping. My husband didn't understand it, but I bought it anyway. It's not horrible, and I'm not going to look good in it anyway so what's the difference. So my fat stucks out a little funny - it's a bathing suit - there's not many places to hide your fat in it. I figued if I had time in the next couple of weeks I could call around to some other Kohl's to see if they had the next size & I would exchange it, if not - I'll smash myself into the one I have. At 40% off my husband still almost crapped himself when the total came to about $50. Hey - It costs money to try and make this look good. He coughed it up though because he loves me & thinks I'm beautiful - giant thighs and all. I love him!

He keeps making mention of the fact that it cost $50 though. I gues it's that it was $50 AFTER the 40% off that has him a little stunned even a few days later.


Now, let me tell you the story of the busted head. My kids are always jumping on the beds and fooling around on them, despite the fact that my husband and I yell at them constantly to stop because they're going to fall off and get hurt - or bust the bed. Well, guess what happened today? Ravenna fell off the bed and got hurt. Oh, she didn't just get hurt though. She hit her head on the corner molding on the bottom of my dresser. Blood was pouring down her face when I picked her up. I grabbed a towel and she held it on there as I rocked her. She stopped crying after just a couple of minutes and let me look at it - oh how I wish I hadn't. Dude, I saw her little skull in there - I kid you not. There was a hole - not a gash - a hole in my child's head. I immediately start making phone calls to Jason and I called my friend to see if she would watch Lily while I ran down to Children's Emergency. Luckily Coen was still camping with Grandma MaryAnn today - he would have been hysterical if he had seen his sister bleeding like that! He freaks out when one of us gets a little cut. Jason, he doesn't mind so much, but if it's me or the girls - forget it.

By the time we left the house - just about 10 or 15 minutes later - she's holding a bag of ice on her head and singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." It was crazy. She was in such a good mood. She babbled all the way to the hospital and told me all about how she fell off the bed and got a booboo on her head.

We get to the ER and are taken back fairly quick. There weren't too many people there and they had a great staff on duty today. There was a med student in with us and I'm quite sure today was his first day. They were explaining everything in great detail, as well as where everything was and how to talk to kids to get them to give you information. I was fine with it. Ravenna was being super cute and goofy and was such a pleasant child to work with that she was a great "first" kid. They didn't let him do anything to her that would hurt her of course.

It's quickly established that yes, it was indeed my child's skull I was looking at through the hole in her head. Great... The guy comes to sutre her up and the med student comes back too. Remember how I mentioned they were explaining everything in great detail to him?

"OK, I'm going to numb her up now."

"See how I can really get in here and jab around in here and run this needle along the laceration? And that's a really sharp needle! She's really good and numb."

"Now I'm going to take this gause and just really scrub this thing clean. See how hard I can rub it? You give it a try. Oh, you can scrub a lot harder than that - really get in there!"

"Now, because the laceration is a traingular shape you can really grab this skin and yank it back to get a good look in there to make sure there is no debris. Since she hit a dresser you should be looking for wood chips in there."

"Make sure you really look back there in the corners."

"Now we need to check for a skull fracture. You just scrape this along the scalp to make sure it's all smooth. If you get caught or feel a bump then we need to get a CT Scan."

Dude, I could HEAR them scraping my child's skull! This thing looked like a metal popsicle stick! OH MY GOD! It was at that point I broke out in a sweat. Was it a million degrees in there or what? I thought I was about to puke. My legs were going numb. My ears hurt so bad - was there pressure building up in them? My vision was failing fast. I was going down.

The guy doing the sutre on Ven stopped and looked at me. Next thing I know he's hitting the emergency button, and yelling for someone to bring a glass of OJ ASAP. The nurse came in and swept me away. I never even said a thing to my kid on the way out. I just left. I drank my OJ and put my head back and took some deep breaths. I felt so bad leaving my two-year-old in there all alone. I suppose it was better than having her watch mommy drop to the floor as if she were dead. No, that wouldn't have been traumatic to her at all! After a few minutes I heard him yell for Cindy to come in through the intercom. I guess Cindy was Mommy's replacement.

15 minutes later a happy little girl emerges with all these people. She's so happy and goofy. She told me all about how the doctor fixed her booboo and how there should be "No more monkeys jumping on the bed." The nurse brought us each a red popsicle, and we sat and ate them as the doctor went over all the instructions for her.

I called Jason as we pulled out - which was only 2 hours from the time we walked in (KUDOS). I told him how horrible it was for me, but that she was fine and he laughed. Then I told him about the scraping of the skull and the horrible bone on metal sound. He stopped laughing. Dude, I totally earned my $50 bathing suit today!