I love being a mom. I discovered with my first born child that every cliche you ever heard about being a parent was true. "You never thought you could love anyone so much." "It's the most amazing thing you'll ever experience." "You'll never look at anything the same again." They're all true. The other one that also got me was "You'll worry about them for the rest of your life."
You do. You worry about everything. I never used to me so neurotic, but I am now. I try to play it cool, but it's always in the back of my mind. What's worse is that I work in the media. I sit and read the AP news wire every night. I see things that you don't want to know about. What is wrong with people that they do such horrible things to kids? It just makes me a freak about my kids even more. I tone it down a bit for my husband, or he may have me committed. Seriously, what is wrong with these people? I would love to let my kids go out and play in the back yard while I'm putting lunch together, but I'm afraid to leave them in the yard unattended. Someone might come by and snatch them off of their swing.
What kind of world is this? Was it always like this? Has the media done this to us? Has the media made us all such neurotic freaks that our kids aren't allowed to walk to school anymore, or is the world going to hell in a hand basket? Perhaps it's a little of both, I don't know. All I know is that I've always dreamed of having children, and now I have three of the most beautiful babies I've ever laid eyes on, and I've never been so scared in my life. Sometimes my chest tightenes up and I find it hard to take a solid breath when I think about it.
I watch my children bounce around and play and use their little imaginations and I wonder, how could anyone hurt something like that? I can't imagine it gets easier as they get older, but I hope so. In the meantime, I'll just pray for them.
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